Well, my name is Nicole. I'm an 18 year old pale girl who likes to draw on everything and I eat black olives all day. Sometimes I just need to talk to myself and look at pretty pictures before I go out, accidentally knock a tower of canned beans over, and make a goof of myself. :)

I don’t know wether to call this love anymore.. I feel so torn down. If he really loved me he wouldn’t of gotten another girl pregnant. He and is family are excited for this kid, and I’m the one in his life not happy about this whole thing. There’s no promises in this ridiculous life, and wishes surely do not come true. 





He is having a baby with another girl..what is my life coming to? Why me? What did I do to deserve this when all I want to do in my life is help people..This isn’t fair,    heartache . 

Kyle might be going into the Marines. I want to be supportive as possible, I know he wants this. It’s what he’s wanted for years. I’m crying now, but I want to be excited for him at the same time.. I know this decision will lead to so many opportunities for him, so maybe it’s for the best.

But what about me? I’m terrified. But is me being terrified, selfish? Especially if he thinks that this is the best path to take..He said if anything were to happen to him, that I should move on and be happy. I’ve been without him for months at a time already, but to be without the person I love for the rest my life? ..I just can’t even think of an emotion that I would feel..All I know is that it would just be very, very far from happy.

I’ve known you for so long, a simply just thinking about you or chatting with you just gives me butterflies. AH, I love how we always find each other no matter what comes between us. We are so crazy, free and beautiful. Just how it should be. 

Highs then lows

I love you so much, but I’m so unsure about what our future holds and it scares me. I know your interested in things so much more than just having me around- and that’s awesome I want you to grow. But am I along for that ride? Are you interested in other people? What do you see in me? What do you see in us? :( Feeling kinda low. 

I feel so in love <3

The feeling of love fading, and the uncertainty of it fading, really sucks. 

Spoiled brat, you don’t even know what you have.



-I am not a “cum-bag slut” just because I have slept with 5 guys in my entire life..Compared to your 20+ and all of the times you have cheated on me. You are foul and sickening. 

-I am not a disgusting piece of shit for the decisions I have made in my life.  They were my choices to make, and not yours to live with. Stop living in the fucking past and move forward with your life. 

- Daddy problems you say? I’m screwed up because of that? My family has their issues, but that does not make me any less of a fucking person. Stop giving me shit about not having a father that is not in my life so much, stop dissing him all of the time, and JUST FUCKING SUPPORT ME FOR ONCE GOD DAMNIT. 

-OH AND ARE MY BOOBS TOO SMALL FOR YOU? OH SORRY, so you don’t feel like having sex with me? It’s okay, you’ll find some filthy hole to jam your dick into. 

- I look like a dumb ass, I’m stupid, I have no self respect, I’m dependent? Hardly. Get over yourself. And to not want to marry someone just because they want to be a teacher? Good luck in your lonely pathetic life. At least I have and can keep a job, pay my own bills, and think for myself with out calling your rich bitch mother to rescue you. You are a fucking child. You are so fake. 

- You know, I am very well aware of what I have done in my life time. I’m the one FUCKING living it. I don’t have to hear about how terrible I am from somebody who supposedly “loves” me. 

YOU SIR, LOSE. Not me.